Remember Clarence Thomas?

Why do we ask someone else to apologize? If they really felt they were sorry, they'd apologize on their own. Apparently Virginia Thomas, the wife of Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas, doesn't agree. She says she wants an apology from Professor Anita Hill for allegedly lying about her husband twenty years ago, and even left a message to that effect on Hill's answering machine. In case you're too young -- or too old -- to remember, Thomas was nominated by the first President Bush. During Thomas' confirmation hearing, Hill accused him of sexual harassment in the workplace. She referred to all kinds of lurid details, the most memorable involving a Coke can. Why is it so important to Mrs. Thomas to get this apology? And why now, after all these years?

It's human nature that we remember the disgraceful, the outrageous, the sensational, and forget about the mundane. The example that people often use is a Page One headline when somebody is accused of doing something awful, but just a tiny story on page thirty-eight when it turns out that the accused really didn't do it. So why is Mrs. Thomas bringing this up? All it will do is remind people of the charges that Anita Hill made: sexy jokes, names of pornographic movies, and Thomas allegedly referring to his sexual prowess. We're finally enough years away from the hearing that at least some people probably don't automatically think of possible raunchiness when they hear Clarence Thomas' name. He hasn't been accused of doing anything untoward since he became a Justice, so why would she jog America's collective memory and bring back all that eye winking that made her husband the butt of jokes (no pun intended). Mrs. Thomas must have known that by bringing this up, people aren't going to think about Justice Thomas' legal philosophy. They are going to think about that famous Coke can.

After both Thomas and Hill wrote books professing that they told the truth, each of them has been wisely silent about the whole controversial event. Who would want the whole country, maybe the whole world, revisiting their most embarrassing moment? Would you want everyone to find out about that one unfortunate night in college when you thought the door was locked? However, I guess getting this apology is more important to Mrs. Thomas than worrying about the public and her husband reliving the embarrassing and mortifying details of the hearing.

It's been twenty years since the event. Is it possible that Mrs. Thomas just loves big anniversaries? I'm not surewhat would be appropriate to buy your spouse who was accused of sexual harassment twenty years ago. Traditionally, the Twentieth Anniversary is the china anniversary, but I can't see her buying him a commemorative plate that reads something like, "She Told An Obvious Lie. 'Sexual Prowess?' Hah!"

One possible reason is that Mrs. Thomas wanted some attention. Let's face it. She didn't really expect an apology, and I don't think she really wanted to talk to Anita Hill. When you want to talk to someone, you don't call her at 7:30 a.m. on her office phone. You know you're going to get a message machine if you do that.

But wait a minute. What if she doesn't want attention? What if it's the opposite? Maybe she wants to deflect interest away from her? Currently, she is the founder of an activist group called Liberty Central. It's an organization dedicated to opposing the "tyranny" of the Obama administration and Congressional Democrats. Some people are upset because it's certainly unusual for a spouse of a sitting Supreme Court Justice to draw a salary from a group financed by anonymous donors. So maybe she is "throwing her husband under the bus," to take attention away from her questionable activities.

Or maybe I'm wrong. Maybe she actually, and naïvely, expected an apology. Maybe she's been dreaming of the day that Anita Hill would finally say she was sorry for allegedly not telling the truth. Finally, Mrs. Thomas would get to quiz her on whether she had lied. But I have the feeling it would go something like this: Virginia Thomas: "You were lying, weren't you? There was no Coke can, was there?" Anita Hill: "You're right. There was no Coke can. It was a Pepsi."

The Columnist Who Once Killed A Fly

I love mystery stories. What do you think of this one? A guy who has never written a book before decides to write a ten-book mystery series. He completes only three of the ten before he dies suddenly at the age of fifty, not living long enough to see any of them published. The three books become enormous bestsellers, earning millions of dollars. You with me so far?

Then there is a fight over money between the writer's family and his long time companion, Eva, who would be considered a common law wife in places that recognize common law wives. However, they don't recognize common law wives where Eva lives, so she isn't legally entitled to any of the money. The family offers her a settlement, but she refuses. In another twist, Eva says that the writer was working on the fourth book, and the unfinished work is on his laptop.She refuses to disclose the whereabouts of it.

The writer's best friend confirms that the writer was working on the book on his laptop. The friend adds, rather curiously, that the writer had finished the beginning and end of the book, but hadn't written the middle before he died.

To top this oddity, the late writer's brother reveals that the fourth book was really meant to be the fifth book in the series, but his brother started it before he started the fourth book, because he thought the fifth book would be "more fun" to write than the fourth.

Too hard to follow? Too far-fetched? Too ridiculous? I agree, but as many of you know, it's also the behind-the-scenes story of Stieg Larsson, the author of "The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo," "The Girl Who Played With Fire," and "The Girl Who Kicked The Hornet's Nest." Walk past any bookstore, get on an airplane, or go into that little store at the car wash, and you're bound to see these books. So what do you think? Did somebody make up the story behind the stories just to sell more books?

After the first two books were released and became enormously popular, cynic that I am, I told a friend that if the third book was also popular, don't be surprised if someone "finds" a fourth book. However, I never would have guessed all the other twists and turns of the story. Maybe that's why I'm not a successful mystery writer -- or someone who's promoted a book -- or someone who's inherited millions of dollars from a book.

I actually think it's one of those stories that is too unbelievable, too convoluted to be made up. It's a "stranger than fiction" story, but that doesn't make it any less dramatic. In fact, I guarantee -- repeat, guarantee -- that at the very least, a TV movie will be written about "The Unauthorized True Story of Stieg Larsson, His Premature Death, and the Books That Lived on after His Demise."

Larsson's story is fascinating, and it proves once again that some writers are often more interesting than what we write. I'm not bragging, but I have many things in common with Larsson. I, too, use a computer to write. I have a brother. Sometimes I have trouble with the English language.

At the moment, I'm not besieged by fans everywhere I go, and neither was Larsson. Now and then I've seen people at Starbucks reading my column, but it's not as if I need a bodyguard. Like many artists before him, Larsson didn't live long enough to enjoy his fame.

I don't see any reason for me to wait until after my death for incredible fame and fortune. I'm a much better writer now than I will be after my death. I'd like to think that the quality of my columns will be what gets millions of people to read my work. However, if that doesn't do the trick, let's just say I have another column on a laptop, and I'm not telling anyone where it is.

If that still doesn't bring me zillions of dollars, I've instructed my best friend to reveal that this column is not the first, but the eighth in a series of seventeen columns. It's just that I thought this one would be "more fun" to write.