The Columnist Who Once Killed A Fly

I love mystery stories. What do you think of this one? A guy who has never written a book before decides to write a ten-book mystery series. He completes only three of the ten before he dies suddenly at the age of fifty, not living long enough to see any of them published. The three books become enormous bestsellers, earning millions of dollars. You with me so far?

Then there is a fight over money between the writer's family and his long time companion, Eva, who would be considered a common law wife in places that recognize common law wives. However, they don't recognize common law wives where Eva lives, so she isn't legally entitled to any of the money. The family offers her a settlement, but she refuses. In another twist, Eva says that the writer was working on the fourth book, and the unfinished work is on his laptop.She refuses to disclose the whereabouts of it.

The writer's best friend confirms that the writer was working on the book on his laptop. The friend adds, rather curiously, that the writer had finished the beginning and end of the book, but hadn't written the middle before he died.

To top this oddity, the late writer's brother reveals that the fourth book was really meant to be the fifth book in the series, but his brother started it before he started the fourth book, because he thought the fifth book would be "more fun" to write than the fourth.

Too hard to follow? Too far-fetched? Too ridiculous? I agree, but as many of you know, it's also the behind-the-scenes story of Stieg Larsson, the author of "The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo," "The Girl Who Played With Fire," and "The Girl Who Kicked The Hornet's Nest." Walk past any bookstore, get on an airplane, or go into that little store at the car wash, and you're bound to see these books. So what do you think? Did somebody make up the story behind the stories just to sell more books?

After the first two books were released and became enormously popular, cynic that I am, I told a friend that if the third book was also popular, don't be surprised if someone "finds" a fourth book. However, I never would have guessed all the other twists and turns of the story. Maybe that's why I'm not a successful mystery writer -- or someone who's promoted a book -- or someone who's inherited millions of dollars from a book.

I actually think it's one of those stories that is too unbelievable, too convoluted to be made up. It's a "stranger than fiction" story, but that doesn't make it any less dramatic. In fact, I guarantee -- repeat, guarantee -- that at the very least, a TV movie will be written about "The Unauthorized True Story of Stieg Larsson, His Premature Death, and the Books That Lived on after His Demise."

Larsson's story is fascinating, and it proves once again that some writers are often more interesting than what we write. I'm not bragging, but I have many things in common with Larsson. I, too, use a computer to write. I have a brother. Sometimes I have trouble with the English language.

At the moment, I'm not besieged by fans everywhere I go, and neither was Larsson. Now and then I've seen people at Starbucks reading my column, but it's not as if I need a bodyguard. Like many artists before him, Larsson didn't live long enough to enjoy his fame.

I don't see any reason for me to wait until after my death for incredible fame and fortune. I'm a much better writer now than I will be after my death. I'd like to think that the quality of my columns will be what gets millions of people to read my work. However, if that doesn't do the trick, let's just say I have another column on a laptop, and I'm not telling anyone where it is.

If that still doesn't bring me zillions of dollars, I've instructed my best friend to reveal that this column is not the first, but the eighth in a series of seventeen columns. It's just that I thought this one would be "more fun" to write.

Sex Survey

"Kids today. Teenagers aren't like we were when we were their age. They can't be trusted, and they're totally irresponsible." That's how many adults view today's teenagers. In one area, they're wrong: Sex. According to a recent survey, teens are more responsible about sex than adults.

The data comes from the National Survey of Sexual Health and Behavior conducted at Indiana University. It was based on responses from 5,865 people. The results are clear. Depending on gender, somewhere between 80 and 69 per cent of teenagers reported that they used condoms the last time they had sex, while less than 50% of adults said they used condoms when they had "casual" sex. Notice that this survey wasn't talking about couples that are married or are in a "serious, committed" relationship. You'd expect those people to probably have a lower condom use than those noisy kids who hang out at the mall. But no, they're not comparing apples and oranges in the survey. They're comparing motels and motels – adults and kids who have casual sex.

Maybe we've been trying to discourage unsafe sex in the wrong way. It looks like teenagers should do commercials aimed at adults. Maybe those in middle and high school should have "that talk" with their parents. Kids, I know it's not easy to have a discussion like that, but it's up to you to start a dialogue. You want to do it without causing any embarrassment or guilt, because you'd like your parents to feel they can always come to you with any questions they might have.

I'm sure all this is going to bring about some controversy. People will disagree about whether it's okay for there to be sex education for adults. Some on the conservative side will feel that it will only encourage adults to have sex, rather than encourage them to have safe sex. Those on the liberal side will see nothing wrong with bringing up the issue of sex with adults, regardless of the consequences.

And there will be that great debate about whether kids should only teach their parents about safe sex at home or whether it's appropriate to learn about these things in the workplace.

Some people will probably propose outlawing sex for people over 21. I think that's ridiculous. It would be just one more example of the "nanny state." Let's leave government out of the bedroom and keep it where it belongs, in the den on TV. I think we adults can be trusted to act responsibly once we learn all the facts – except, of course, on New Year's Eve.

This has turned traditional perceptions (and stereotypes) upside down. If we've misjudged teenagers in terms of their sex lives, maybe we've misjudged them in other ways. It's possible that when we see them hanging out on a corner late at night in a big group, we shouldn't feel that they're up to no good. Maybe they're talking about how they can save the planet or which charities they should support or what's their favorite book of the Bible. On the other hand, as we drive past a retirement home and see a group of senior citizens socializing, maybe we shouldn't smile and think how nice it is that they're talking to each other. Maybe they're the ones who are up to no good. How do we know that they're not talking about egging some cars or scoring some drugs?

Let's return to sex, as people always seem to do. This study was quite comprehensive. It's the first survey of its kind that questioned people as young as 14 and as old as 94. I sure hope that 94-year-old woman's having protected sex. If she's not married and gets pregnant, just think how upset her parents are going to be.